How often do you scroll social media and see “perfect” moms?
What makes a “perfect” Instagram mom? Her hair is done; her house is clean. She’s smiling and her kids are having fun. Mom & kids are hugging or doing a fun activity together. She cooks every meal from scratch and has a beautiful garden. Her makeup is flawless, and her clothes are on current trend. She talks about building up emotional resilience in her kids while looking like she’s slept for 12 hours a night for years. Her car is clean, and her nails are painted. She is cool, calm, & collected, not frustrated, overwhelmed, and exhausted.
What happens when the social media mom comparison trap crops up for you?
What does your mind like to point out to you in these moments? Is it something along the lines of: “You aren’t as good as this mom,”? – Or maybe: “She’s got it all together. Why don’t you?”
It’s easy to compare ourselves to the things we see online.
It’s super easy to fall into this comparison trap.
If that happens to you, you are not alone. We’ve all been there!
Even though we all fall into the comparison trap, there are ways to get OUT of the trap. I’ll share a helpful strategy on this below. – For now, know that you’re not the only one who gets caught up comparing yourself to others.
What does the social media comparison do for you?
Does it help you be a better mom? Do you usually use these “perfect” Instagram mom observations to help you step it up in some way?
Does the comparison trap help you to lean into your values and be the mom you really choose to be?
Ummmm…..NOPE! I wish! More like the comparison trap just takes us down the rabbit hole of being unkind to ourselves.
Does the comparison game make you feel inadequate? Does it make you wonder why you can’t live the way this “perfect” social media mom does?
Does the comparison game make you feel inadequate?
Does it make you wonder why you can’t live the way this “perfect” social media mom does?
I’m here to remind you that YOU are the perfect mom for your kids.
You are exactly what they need.
That lady with the painted nails on Instagram is NOT what your kids need. Not what your kids want.
They need you.
Also- take a hot minute to think about filters, photoshop, and creative placement. Have you ever cleaned off one section of the kitchen counter to snap a photo of something and yet if the viewer could see the whole kitchen it would be a disaster? Perhaps these “perfect” social media moms are also surrounded by mess- they just have had more practice on staging photos than we have!
The comparison trap most often leads to mom guilt.
Is it worth it to even try to do something about this mom guilt trap? Or is it just a part of motherhood that will always be nagging in the back of your mind?
Should we get used to this feeling of inadequacy because that’s life? When you become a mom the whole world starts judging your parenting… So grin and bear it? Or shove down all these feelings of guilt and carry on with our days?
I’d rather not.
Thankfully, learning Acceptance & Commitment Training (ACT) has helped me learn just what to do when my mind starts telling me these messages of comparisons and extra mom guilt.
Are you familiar with ACT? If not, I’m excited to share more with you about it! For now, please know that you are not alone if you fall into the age-old comparison trap. Don’t beat yourself up over it. Instead, try to start noticing the messages your mind is telling you. When you notice you’re having mom guilt and mom comparison thoughts, try this sentence starter: “I’m having the thought that…”
Example: you see something on Instagram and think, “I’ll never be as put together as her.” Add in the sentence starter, “I’m having the thought that.” Now, you’ve got, “I’m having the thought that I’ll never be as put together as her.”
Do you see a difference? There’s a little space there to recognize that this is just a message, just a thought. It creates some distance between you and the thought. Try it out this week when that comparison trap tries to drag you down!
Ready to overcome the comparison trap for good? Stay tuned for a fun new group starting October 16th!