Something that has been working in my home is: providing choices. Before I take something away from my girl, I give her two things to pick from instead. I can prevent the mini-tantrum coming my way by heading it off at the pass.
No, you can’t play with the dog’s bone, but would you like this ball or this stuffed monkey instead.
I have to make sure that what I’m offering her is something goooood. Something she actually will want tot hold and play with as an alternative to whatever has her engaged at the moment.
Offering choices has been shown in behavioral research to be an effective strategy to decrease problem behavior.
Research says it works. Maybe you should try it, too!
Give your child some control over their day, their activities, their food. Offer choices and prevent problem behavior as much as you possibly can. Wouldn’t you rather just avoid the tantrum altogether? I would!
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Don’t take my word for it. Research says so, too!
Dunlap, G., DePerczel, M., Clarke, S., Wilson, D., Wright, S., White, R., & Gomez, A. (1994). Choice making to promote adaptive behavior for students with emotional and behavioral challenges. Journal of applied behavior analysis,27(3), 505-518.
Dyer, K., Dunlap, G., & Winterling, V. (1990). Effects of choice making on the serious problem behaviors of students with severe handicaps. Journal of Applied Behavior Analysis, 23(4), 515-524.
Romaniuk, C., Miltenberger, R., Conyers, C., Jenner, N., Jurgens, M., & Ringenberg, C. (2002). The influence of activity choice on problem behaviors maintained by escape versus attention. Journal of Applied Behavior Analysis,35(4), 349-362.
This such a great and simple advice! My toddler has been on that kick lately. She says no and whines when I take something away, but we’ve trying trading lately. It’s similar to your strategy: no you can’t play with mommy’s sneakers, but how about this scarf instead? No chewing daddy’s keys, but how about this cold yummy teether instead? It works wonders, and you’re right. It avoids potential meltdowns. Thank you for sharing, Leanne.
Love this! Giving choices is absolutely the first thing I instruct all my parents or staff to do! It’s so simple to do and prevents so many unwanted behaviors.
Oh my goodness your little is ADORABLE!
I totally agree with giving choices, this process has helped me over the past 13 years of parenting.
I use to hate when the babies would throw themselves back, so scary!
Thanks for sharing your advice with us at Mommy Monday!
XOXO